When children reach adulthood, relationships with their parents tend to change. The key is to find points of the agreement without going over the limits. Questions arise like how much time should be spent with them and how that time should be spent, how much personal information should be shared, what battles should be fought and when it would be better to turn the other cheek. Also, what advice should be offered and when silence would be better.
Adult children need a different kind of intimacy than they did when they were little. They need emotional support to navigate life and for their parents to value their children’s ability to resolve their issues, even if there are setbacks or setbacks along the way.
Abide by respectful limits
Parents who valued the loving relationship they had with their young children might feel hurt if they notice that they start to drift away as they grow up. Suddenly, they don’t want to go home for the holidays or don’t have time for long phone conversations. Although it is natural to miss the intimacy of before, it helps to understand that the need to distance yourself is appropriate for this phase of your life and should not be taken as a personal affront.
Listen more than you speak
Knowing how to hold back is the difficult virtue required of us at such times, to avoid offering too much advice or asking too many questions. After years of diligently caring for your children, you might be surprised how often you will have to bite your tongue when you see them make decisions that are sometimes wise, sometimes foolish. You may struggle with your desire to solve all their difficulties, but if you rush too quickly to solve your adult children’s dilemmas, they will not learn to solve them independently.
Set rules on how to disagree
Many of the benefits that parents reap at this stage are due to their children being able to communicate better. Unlike when they were children, adult children usually handle disagreements with their parents better. Also, they can better see the other person’s point of view. Their frontal cortex is maturing as wine ages, and that means having better judgment, being less impulsive, and thinking before speaking.
Open the doors to your child’s partner
Maybe you want your son’s girlfriend to have fewer tattoos or your daughter’s boyfriend to have a better job. But unless you observe truly disruptive behavior, do your best to accept the person your child loves. And when he finally decides on a partner, accept that it is natural for him to put that person first. When it comes to important decisions, plans, or handling difficulties, the child will choose more to rely on his partner.