Your grief can seem so overwhelming that you may feel an inclination to withdraw from the situation. Perhaps you are afraid of saying the wrong thing, or death brings back certain memories or fears. You know that if you walk away or do something wrong at a time like that, it can damage your relationship with the grieving person or cause more pain. You want to help, but you don’t know where to start.
Make a list
You might consider helping bereaved people make a list of things that need to be done. This could include anything from paying bills to watering plants. Help them prioritize them by importance, and then you and your friends or family can offer help with what is most important. The grieving person may have a calendar on the refrigerator or an electronic scheduler that you can use as a reference that indicates what appointments they have scheduled. Unless they relate to funeral plans or matters of a compelling nature, you may offer to reschedule or cancel these appointments.
What about the children?
If the bereaved person has young children, you may want to volunteer to care for them, either at home or at home. Or, arrange for a responsible babysitter to be available. While it is like a mother or father to help and care for their children, at this difficult time, they can barely have the energy to care for themselves. Keep in mind that children can grieve too, and depending on their age, they may need to be close to one or both of their parents.
Say the name of the deceased
Often those who want to help avoid saying the name of the deceased do not want to cause more pain. However, those who have lost someone generally want to talk about them and appreciate hearing the name of their loved ones mentioned in the context of funeral plans, stories from the past, and in many other ways. Usually, they will love hearing a positive anecdote or funny story about their loved one because, for a moment, the deceased returns to the world.
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