Even though our adult children surpass us in some capacity or achievement, they still need and deserve parental support to make their way through the world. Here are some guidelines to consider:
1. Trust the decisions you make. That is not to believe that they will always make perfect decisions; it means trusting that they can recover after making a mistake, that God forgives and that life can be deeply enriching even though it is necessary to overcome failure or endure tribulations. For the children small, they can be permanently damaged due to trauma, but young adults progress to overcome the obstacles rather than avoiding them. Provide emotional and practical support, encourage them to take breaks from stressful situations, pray with them, and have a good sense of humor.
2. Praise them for their efforts. Praising young adults for their hard work and resilience helps them continue to strive for a task longer, take on more challenges, and enjoy their jobs more. A formula that shares President Thomas S. Monson states, “Work will win while daydreaming does not transcend.”
3. Talk about money matters. Considering your situation and the maturity of each child, pray devoted to what kind of financial aid you will give your children, if at all. Perhaps all they need is help to organize a budget. If you provide financial aid, make it clear up front whether you want the money back or to use it in a certain way; So willingly give them the responsibility of managing their funds and learning from their mistakes, including not having money tomorrow for something if they overspend today.
4. Be humble. When you tend to blame yourself for the mistakes you make as parents, try increasing your humility rather than your humiliation; Apologies with dignity, say what you will do to improve, and then move forward with confidence. Let your children, as they observe you, conclude that mistakes are not the end, that apologies are not a sign of weakness.
5. Measure true success. Keep in mind that our children’s success is not defined by how well our children live our values, but by the constant and selfless way in which we live them.
The current challenges
Longer single. Social tendencies to start a family later in life can make some young adults feel like they are perpetual teens. Others get stressed out and wonder if they will ever get married or have children. As parents, what would be the best way to help them have an eternal perspective?
Economic insecurity. Many of today’s young adults may not compare financially to their parents; They may find it difficult to find a job or provide for a family despite having a college degree. As parents, should we give them a hand financially, or should we assume that our children will mature by having to find a way to take responsibility for their finances?
Live with your parents. Whether they marry or not, an increasing number of young adults between the ages of 18 and 34 live with their parents. When adult children live with parents, how should parents properly address issues such as who pays for meals or how to discipline grandchildren?